I am really in a bad head space.
Losing one’s job tends to have that effect.
They have officially hired my replacement. It is my friend.
Pro: I know I am leaving my kids in good hands.
Con: Despite him having nothing to do with it, I can’t help but feel that my friend is “taking” my job.
It’s like an icy dagger in the heart, but the dagger is also warm so it instantly cauterizes the wound.
I continue to not get interviews or return e-mails from other job applications.
I cried myself to sleep last night. Well, I cried myself to more crying. I cried for at least an hour. Then I proceeded to lay there sadly brooding for another hour.
I feel worthless, without motivation, useless. I don’t feel like I have any sense of purpose right now. I have poured so much into these students and my job. Having them tell me that I am incompetent such a low blow.
No wonder I am not getting hired by the other schools. If I was a good teacher, wouldn’t my current school want to keep me?