I’m in a Bad Place

I am really in a bad head space.

Losing one’s job tends to have that effect.

They have officially hired my replacement. It is my friend.

Pro: I know I am leaving my kids in good hands.

Con: Despite him having nothing to do with it, I can’t help but feel that my friend is “taking” my job.

It’s like an icy dagger in the heart, but the dagger is also warm so it instantly cauterizes the wound.

I continue to not get interviews or return e-mails from other job applications.

I cried myself to sleep last night. Well, I cried myself to more crying. I cried for at least an hour. Then I proceeded to lay there sadly brooding for another hour.

I feel worthless, without motivation, useless. I don’t feel like I have any sense of purpose right now. I have poured so much into these students and my job. Having them tell me that I am incompetent such a low blow.

No wonder I am not getting hired by the other schools. If I was a good teacher, wouldn’t my current school want to keep me?

 

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4 thoughts on “I’m in a Bad Place

  1. I was recently passed over for a promotion. The woman who received it has had less than a year of experience in our industry. I have had ten. Talk about feeling incompetent. I feel like the universe puts people in these situations to force us out of our comfort place in order to move to a place where our talents can be appreciated and utilized. You will find something and this time, they will value your strengths instead of cramming you into some dumb mold. None of my favorite/best teachers fit a mold. I hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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